


Not My Shame Spiral

by onihunter305



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Boyfriend Nico Kim, Levi Schmitt Deserves Nice Things, M/M, Post Episode: S15 E16
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-16 11:12:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18093215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onihunter305/pseuds/onihunter305
Summary: “I think my mom is experiencing a shame spiral!”





	1. Coming Over

**Author's Note:**

> So this story premise is loosely based on a coming out experience of someone close to me. As a general warning, coming out is a very unique experience. No two people can really experience it the same way. That being said, this is my interpretation of how Levi’s might happen after what he said last episode. Hope you enjoy!!

A knock on his door surprised Nico Kim. He had just gotten home from a long shift at the hospital and was looking forward to a relaxing, somewhat lonely, night of takeout and Netflix. Relaxing because he had a full 24 hours off before he had to report back to the hospital, lonely because his boyfriend, Levi Schmitt, would not be joining him. 

Nico looked at his phone when he got home, before quickly placing it on his kitchen counter and walking away from it. 

He told himself that he wasn’t going to text Levi, he would let Levi text him if he needed him. He was going to respect the time and space Levi requested. 

See, after a long discussion between the two men, Levi announced that he finally felt ready to come out to his mom and tell her all about Nico. He had insisted that he have time to let his mom interrogate him and find all the “death traps” as he called them. He told Nico Friday night, as the older man was starting his shift and Levi was ending his, that he would call him Saturday night to let him know how it went. 

Regardless, Nico was finding it hard to give Levi the space he requested. Since their fated time together in the ambulance the two men hadn’t gone more than half a day without sending each other texts, sneaking away together in on call rooms, spending time together at Joe’s Bar, or even Levi coming to stay with Nico on nights they had off. 

These past 24 hours have seemed like a lifetime of silence to Nico. 

That was why he was so startled by the knocking on his door. There weren’t too many people who knew the address of his small studio apartment and he was pretty sure Link had gone home to sleep and Levi would have called if he was coming over to make sure the other man was there. Even though Nico had tried to give him a key, Levi insisted that he couldn’t accept it until he didn’t have to lie to explain an extra key on his key ring to his mother. 

That being said, the last person he expected to see when he opened the door was his adorable boyfriend Levi, looking like a kicked puppy. 

“Levi?” He whispered out, trying to figure out if he was imaging his presence. 

“Hey, can I come in?” Levi asked. Nico nodded and moved aside, giving Levi the space the pass. As he did, Nico took inventory of his demeanor and behaviors. He could tell something was weighing heavily on his small boyfriend’s shoulders and he feared what caused it. 

“You hungry?” Nico asked as Levi toed off his shoes, dropped his backpack by the shoe rack, and hung up his coat. 

“I think my mom is experiencing a shame spiral,” was Levi’s reply. 

Nico raised and eyebrow and hung his mouth open with that response. It had crossed his mind that Levi’s mom might not take the news of her baby boy being gay well, but he didn’t really think it would happen. Levi always spoke to highly of his mother and Nico knew how much he cherished his relationship with her. 

Instead of trying to tackle whatever happened in the entryway of his apartment, Nico gently guided him into the den and to the couch. He helped him sit and sunk down next to him, drawing a blanket over them both. 

“What happened?” Nico asked, taking Levi’s hand in his. 

“I told her, last night when I got home. I just came right out and told her while she was preparing some evening tea,” Levi started, his eyes drawn down to their joined hands, squeezing Nico’s hand to draw strength from it. “I sat down at the counter and told her I had something to tell her.”

Nico winced at his delivery but hid his reaction carefully. From what Levi had told him about his mother, Nico was sure that probably threw her into a spiral in itself. 

“And she just looked at me like the world was ending. Which it wasn’t. And I told her everything was fine. I told her it was more than fine. I told her I had found someone who made me happy and I wanted to tell her about that,” Levi was rambling. Nico knew this was his process. That he needed to just speak it all out to find some closure in the situation. “She smiled at me and I felt like everything was going to be fine. That we were going to laugh and hug and have one of those after school special moments. But...” Levi paused and his eyes scrunched up. He seemed to be lost in the memory. 

“Take your time,” Nico offered, wanting to stay quiet so Levi could express himself but also wanted to remind him of his presence. 

“I told her that I had found someone who made me happy. And that HE was good to me and made me better,” Levi’s voice was flat. “And she stopped smiling. And I braced myself. I waited for yelling, or crying, or ... I don’t know what else. But nothing really came. She wanted to say something but she didn’t. She just said goodnight and went to bed. And I thought I was okay with that. Because she didn’t yell, or cry, or scream.”

“I’m so sorry babe,” Nico said, leaning in to kiss his temple. 

“That’s not even the worst of her shame spiral. In the morning she seemed fine. And I thought that maybe she was just shocked last night and that everything would be fine. So we went to temple together. After the service the Rabbi came over to talk to us. I haven’t seen him in a while because of work and everything. He was asking about my internship and my mom was gushing her praises and I felt like the world was right again. But then, then he asked if there were any ladies that I would be bringing to temple with me anytime soon and my mom... she just... her smile went away. Rabbi told her not to worry, that he was sure she would have grandchildren soon enough and that the lord had a plan and she just nodded and thanked him,” at that point Levi’s voice broke slightly and Nico pulled him into his embrace, wrapping his arms around him and holding him tightly. 

“We drove home in silence and when we got home I asked her if she was mad at me and she said that she was sad for me. She said she was sad for me because my life wouldn’t be easy. That people would always hate me for being who I was and it’s hard for a mother to know the pain her son will forever have to live with,” Levi barely got the words out, tears streaming down his face. 

“I’m so sorry Levi, so so sorry,” Nico said, his heart breaking with every word. 

“I tried to tell her, tried to tell her how happy I am. I tried to explain that the happiness she has been seeing was me living my full life for the first time ever. But she just said that I was picking a very hard lifestyle to live. But, it’s not a choice. This is who I am. I didn’t chose to love you, I just do,” Levi said, bringing up one hard to wipe the tears on his cheeks. 

“I love you too baby,” Nico whispered into his curls. He couldn’t believe what Levi had been through. The pain he must have felt, hearing his mother disregard his happiness like that, Nico wouldn’t wish that on his worst enemy. 

“I don’t even know if she loves me anymore. She didn’t say she didn’t, but she didn’t say she did. And then she said she had to run errands. She said that at 2pm. And I waited, I kept thinking she was going to come back in and hug me and tell me she loved me, gay or straight. But she didn’t come home... and I couldn’t just... sit there anymore,” Levi expresses, looking at Nico as he said the last bit. “I couldn’t stay there when I knew that the only one I wanted to be with in that moment was you. Because when I’m with you I’m happy. Even if my mom doesn’t see it.”

“Give her some time. But if she can’t see your happiness as anything but wonderful then that’s on her. You are a wonderful man and loving man and I’m so proud to call you my boyfriend,” Nico said. 

At that moment Levi yawned uncontrollably, his body shaking a bit with the effort. 

“Sorry, I didn’t get much sleep last night... considering everything,” Levi said shyly. 

“How about we eat something quick and get comfortable in bed. We can continue our friends marathon from a few weeks ago,” Nico suggested. 

“Sounds perfect,” Levi agreed. 

They shuffled around the kitchen, eventually deciding on a bowl of cereal because Nico didn’t have much in the house and neither of them really felt like waiting for takeout. Before they knew it both were snuggled down into Nico warm bed, his iPad propped up in front of Levi, playing the sitcom quietly as Nico spooned him from behind. 

Levi reached up and intertwined his fingers with the ones resting on his chest. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

“You have no reason to be sorry,” Nico quickly reassured. 

“You already had your coming out. And I’m bringing you all this drama with mine, I know you didn’t want that. You don’t deserve that,” Levi replied. Nico felt like groaning and hitting his head into the headboard, the words he uttered in the elevator months ago haunting him in this moment. 

“Levi,” Nico sighed, gently turning Levi so that they were facing each other. Levi’s hand fell to Nico’s clothed chest, absently playing with the soft fabric of his shirt, his eyes cast downward. Nico lifted one hand and softly raised his eyes to meet his own. “Yes, I had my coming out a while ago. And when I said that to you I was... worried that you wouldn’t be ready to be open and public any time soon. I wasn’t ready to be shoved back into the closet. I tried that in college, I tried dating guys who wanted me to be their dirty little secret. And I hated it. I hated being someone that wasn’t worth being out for, someone they weren’t proud to be with. You are nothing like that. You are so loving and expressive and every moment I spend with you I feel like something treasured. And I hate that I, even for one second, made you feel like you weren’t good enough for me because you weren’t out. And I’m so sorry if I made you feel like you had to do this for me, before you were ready,” Nico said, looking Levi in the eyes as he expressed himself. He wanted Levi to understand that he was important and that he was amazing, especially considering the fact that his mom made him feel the opposite. 

“No, you didn’t make me come out to my mom. I meant what I said the day of that massive overdose in the park. You are a work of art and I don’t feel even an ounce of shame when I’m with you. I’m so happy that you want me, me! You looked past me being glasses, or me being bumbley, or me being generally nerdy beyond belief and I really thought that one day you would realize that I wasn’t worth it and not want me anymore. I’m so proud to call you mine and I wanted to share that with my mom. I wanted her to see how I got to be with such an amazing man. But she didn’t even let me get to that part,” Levi sniffled, shocked he had anymore tears left, he thought he had cried himself dry. 

Nico’s heart broke at the sight of Levi’s tears. He leaned in and kissed Levi’s tear stained cheeks. “She will see it one day. I love everything about you and so does she, she’s just processing. For now let me hold you and love you,” Nico said. Levi nodded and curled up in Nico’s warm chest. After not sleeping most of last night, and the emotional roller coaster that had been his day, Levi slowly drifted off to sleep.


	2. Calling Out

Nico had his arms wrapped around Levi’s body, holding him tight and protecting him from the harsh world around him, thinking about how the night had taken a turn

Never, in all his possible scenarios he had thought up, did Nico think it would end like this. Sure, his own mother hadn’t been thrilled at the revelation that Nico was gay but she got over it fairly quickly and now she loved him all the same. Of course he had never been as close to his mother as Levi is with his. With all the great things Levi had shared about his mom, Nico didn’t think she would react like this. 

Sighing he dropped another gentle kiss into Levi’s hair and rested his chin on top of the curly locks. He wanted to be able to fix this, to make Levi feel better, but deep down he knew there was nothing he could do. This was a process, one that was different for everyone, and Nico had to let it run its course. 

Nico was pulled out of his musing by the distant sounds of a phone vibrating. Glancing at the clock next to his bed Nico was surprised that someone was calling at 1:34 in the morning. He figured it was probably the hospital calling one, or both, of them in. Neither of them were on-call but there were some emergencies that ended up being all hands on deck. 

He carefully extradited himself from the bed and tucked Levi in before padding towards the buzzing phones. Without bothering to look at who the caller was he answered the phone. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi... um... did I dial the wrong number? I’m looking for Levi,” a woman’s voice came across the line. 

Nico’s world paused as he pulled the phone away from his ear to glance at the caller ID for the first time, ‘Mom.’

“No, you have the right phone. Levi is sleeping right now,” Nico said, working hard to keep his voice level and calm. This was between Levi and his mother, Nico was not going to fight his battles for him. 

“Oh, um... well I’m Levi’s mother, Beth Schmitt. I guess if he’s sleeping, that makes sense because he seemed tired today, but if he’s sleeping I shouldn’t wake him. He must be fine... if he’s sleeping. Who am I speaking with?” Levi’s mother rambled in a way that reminded him fondly of Levi, clearly it was a trait he had inherited from her. 

Nico really didn’t want to continue this conversation when it was almost 2 in the morning but he also didn’t want to be rude. “My name is Nico Kim, I work at Grey-Sloan with Levi,” he replied. 

“Oh, you’re a... friend of his?” She questioned, her tone holding an implication Nico was not going to play into. 

“Yes, Levi is a very good friend of mine. Did you need something Mrs. Schmitt?” Nico asked. 

“It’s just, he wasn’t home. And I expected him to be. And I was worried. He never stays out without telling me first. So I started to imagine something bad had happened to him, as all mothers tend to do when these things happen I guess. Could have been a car accident, a kidnapping, he could have been called to work too I guess. I was just... worried,” she finished, her voice trailing off at the end. Nico could hear the indecision in her voice, how she clearly had something else she wanted to add. He imagined her biting her tongue as her son often did when he was trying to say something that he knew would come out nerdy or awkward. 

“Mrs. Schmitt,” Nico sighed, fighting to find the right words. “Levi is safe here and he is sleeping. Unless you would like me to wake him, it’s very late and I would like to go back to bed.”

“With my son?” She spoke quickly, clearly not thinking through was she was going to say before blurting it out. 

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to,” Nico responded, feeling more anger than he would have liked in that moment. He heard Levi’s mom gasp on the other side of the line, either she just realized how inappropriate her question was or she just realize that she said something out-loud that she meant to keep to herself. After another moments pause Nico heard her sigh audibly. 

“I deserved that,” she said. “And I’m sure Levi has told you... well everything. And I’m sure you think the worst of me. But... “ She sighed again. 

“Mrs. Schmitt this isn’t a conversation we should be having,” Nico said, starting to feel uncomfortable and regretting ever answering this phone call. 

“Dr. Kim, I’m assuming you’re a doctor if you work at the hospital with Levi, you might be a nurse... or a janitor... sorry. I’m rambling again. Anyway, Mr.-Dr. Kim... I know you think the worst of me. But I do love my son,” she said the last part in a tone that actually touched Nico. She truly sounded regretful. 

“I’m not the one who needs to hear that Mrs. Schmitt,” Nico fired back, not wanting her to inundate him with excuses. Watching Levi cry multiple times this evening made him immune to any and all excuses she might come up with. 

There was a long pause on the other line. “Would you... possibly... would you wake him up for me?” She finally said. 

Nico bit his bottom lip as he looked into his bedroom where Levi was curled around his pillow. He didn’t want to wake him but he also didn’t want to stand between him and his mother repairing their relationship. 

Taking a deep resigned breath, Nico closed his eyes and found himself saying, “yeah, just give me a second.”

Walking into the room Nico muted the phone and placed it on the side table before kneeling over Levi’s sleeping form. “Hey babe,” Nico said softly, leaning down to place a kiss on his temple gently. 

“What time is it?” Levi groaned, trying to pull the covers over his head impishly. 

“Too early, and I wouldn’t want to wake you normally but...” Nico said, glancing back at the phone on his side table quickly. 

“But what?” Levi said, slightly more awake at Nico’s tone of voice. 

“Your mom is on the phone,” Nico said, gesturing to the lit phone. 

“What? What does she want?” Levi said, his heart racing at the idea that his mother called and Nico answered. He began to think of things she may have said to him, comments she may have made, and his pulse quickened. 

“I honestly don’t know. Do you want to talk to her? I’ll get rid of her if you don’t,” Nico was quick to try and calm him. He could see the internal struggle and he wanted to make this as painless as possible. 

“No, I can’t avoid her forever, I should talk to her. It’s like ripping off a bandaid, right? I just need to do it,” Levi sighed and reached over to take the phone. 

“Do you want me to stay? Or do you want some privacy?” Nico asked gently. 

Levi smiled at Nico’s question. “I love that you even thought to ask me if I could kick you out of your own bedroom in your apartment, I am so lucky to have you,” he said with a gentle kiss. When he pulled back he continued with, “If you don’t mind, I think I want you here.”

Taking a deep breath Levi unmuted the phone and held it to his ear. 

“Hi mom,” he said softly. 

“Hey baby. I’m so glad your alright. When you never came home tonight... well you know how I worry,” she said. 

“I wasn’t sure... if you wanted me there,” Levi rationalized, feeling traitorous tears come to his eyes as he said it. 

“Oh I will always want you here Levi. I love you baby,” she said, and that was all it took for the damn to break in Levi. The words he so longed to hear had just come out of his mother’s mouth. 

Nico wasn’t sure what was being said but he used context clues to recognize Levi’ need for support, he reached out and took his free hand in his, rubbing the back of his hand with his thumb. Levi offered a watery smile at the support. 

“I wasn’t sure... the way you reacted...” Levi stuttered. 

“I’m sorry baby. I have done so much thinking today, and I am so sorry for my actions. I have so much to say to you my Levi, but I would really like to have this talk in person. Maybe we could do breakfast tomorrow? You know, you, me, and... possibly the young man who answered your phone? Assuming that is the person you were trying to tell me about today,” she said, the words causing an amazed sob to break free from Levi’s small frame. 

“You want to have us for breakfast, both of us?” Levi asked, just to be sure he heard what he heard. 

“Yes, both of you. I know my reaction hurt you and I want to make that up to you. We need to have a long talk and there is no better way to do that then over food. I’ll make French toast?” She offered. 

“I’d really like that. Let me just make sure we’re free,” Levi put the phone down and covered the mouthpiece. “Can we do breakfast with my mom tomorrow?” He asked Nico whose eyes raised at the question he wasn’t expecting. 

Looking at Levi’s hopefulness Nico couldn’t stop himself from nodding. Levi’s smile brightened and he leaned in to kiss Nico briefly before picking the phone back up. 

“Yeah that works for us,” he said. 

“I’m glad. I’m really eager to clear the air. Again, I’m so sorry for what happened today. And remember baby, I will always love you,” she said. 

“Love you too,” Levi replied. 

“So much, now go back to bed and I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight Levi,” his mom said. 

“Goodnight mom,” he echoed before hanging up the phone. 

His eyes met Nico’s surprised ones. Neither of them had expected that kind of outcome from a 2am conversation so they weren’t sure how to handle it. 

“So... breakfast tomorrow?” Nico said, breaking the silence. 

“My mom loves me,” Levi responded, not addressing Nico’s question at all. 

“Of course she does, what’s not to love?” Nico added, helping Levi lay back down and snuggling up with him. “And tomorrow should provide even more answers. But for now, sleep?”

“Sleep,” Levi agreed. “Thank you for everything,” he finished with a deep kiss. 

“Anytime love,” Nico mumbled into the kiss. With that, they drifted off together to get some sleep before the breakfast that neither of them thought they were truly prepared for.


	3. Coming Together

Both men were moving sluggishly in the morning, having only got a few hours of sleep before their alarm blared, waking them for breakfast with Mrs. Schmitt. They showered together, for no other reason than to have reassuring physical touch throughout. Nico took extra care to massage Levi’s scalp as he worked the shampoo through his hair before carefully leaning him back to wash it out. 

Once they were both dry and dressed for the day they gathered their work bags and keys before walking out to Nico’s car. They decided to stop to get some coffee on their way, they knew Levi’s mom would have coffee for them when they got there but they just wanted to savor a few more moments together. 

Nico noticed, with slight anger towards the woman he was going to meet, that Levi was decided to stick to wearing his glasses today. As much as Nico loved seeing his boyfriend comfortable in his home in sweats and glasses, Nico knew that Levi used them as a shield for the outside world. It killed him that he felt like he needed that shield today. 

Levi was feeling very anxious about how this meal with his mother would go. He felt slightly reassured that his mother called last night, that she cared enough to reach out, but the lingering sadness he felt prior to that kept nagging at him. It kept reminding him of her stony silence when he came out to her. 

As they entered his neighborhood, Nico reached across the consul and took Levi’s hand in his own as a sign of support. 

“She called you, that’s big,” Nico reminded him softly. 

“She said she loves me,” Levi said, repeating the words that he’s been holding on to since he woke up this morning. 

Nico smiled reassuringly, pulling up to the curb of the Schmitt home. He turned off the car and took a deep breath. This was big, in so many ways. He was there to support Levi however he needed, but he also was there as an invited guest to meet his boyfriend’s mother for the first time. He was dealing with his own set of emotions as they stepped out of the vehicle and walked up to the door. 

“Do I knock?” Levi asked, the confidence he had gained over the past few months a mere memory. Nico hates how unsure he sounded. 

“It’s still you house, your home,” Nico replies, hoping he was giving the right advice. 

Levi nodded and turned the handle to open the door. 

“Mom?” He called out hesitantly. 

Both men could immediately smell the wonderful sweet aroma of baking bread and Levi felt his mouth salivating at the thought of his mom’s challah French toast casserole. She always used to make it when he was feeling down so he hoped this was a good sign, a sign that she was looking to cheer him up. 

“In here baby,” her voice echoed from the kitchen. Levi nodded in response, even though he knew she couldn’t see him and reached down to take Nico’s bigger hand in his, lacing their fingers together. 

“You ready?” He asked Nico, taking one more moment to stall. 

“If you are,” Nico responded, trying to sound far more confident than he felt. Levi squeezes their joined hands and pulled Nico forward, towards the kitchen. 

“Casserole is coming out now, table should have everything we need on it. Do you boys want coffee?” Mrs. Schmitt asked, taking off her apron after dropping the dish off on the kitchen table. 

“Sure, thank you,” Levi responded, not moving towards the table just yet. 

Nico took this momentary break in time to survey the table. It was filled with a variety of foods. There were two plates of meats, one with bacon and one with sausage. There were two types of syrup, real Vermont and the sugary stuff Nico grew up with. The casserole was beautiful and brown on top and smelled amazing. There were bowls of blueberries and strawberries, cleaned and cut. Three types of juices were also on the table: orange, cranberry, and grapefruit. Clearly Mrs. Schmitt had been at this for a while this morning. 

“Everything looks amazing Mrs. Schmitt,” Nico commented, unable to stay silent as he as Levi moved towards the kitchen table. 

“Thank you,” she replied, adding two cups of steaming coffee to the table before sitting down and motioning for them to do the same. 

They both sat quietly, Levi subconsciously sitting closer to Nico than necessary. 

As his mom began to dish out the casserole Levi realized he never properly introduced Nico and his mom. 

“Mom, I want you to officially meet Dr. Nico Kim, my... my boyfriend. Nico, this is my mom, Beth Schmitt” he said, stumbling only slightly when calling Nico his boyfriend. 

“Oh so I was right with doctor title,” she said, finishing scooping some into her plate and settled down. “It’s nice to meet you,” she said kindly. 

“You as well ma’am,” Nico said. 

“I’m sure you both must... think awfully of me. I am sorry for how I handled yesterday,” she said, deciding that she might as well try and handle the elephant in the room while she could. “I’m not proud of my actions, but you must try to understand Levi, I was shocked. When you told me you had found someone I just... I never thought you would fall in love with a man. And I’m sure you are a lovely person,” this time she address Nico with her statement. “But... it’s hard for a mother to be blindsided with the fact that she never really knew her only son.”

“Mom...” Levi began, her seemly innocuous words hurting more than he thought they would. After all, they weren’t harsh, they didn’t attack him directly. Yet, hearing his mother claim she never knew him cut him somewhere deep. 

“No baby let me finish, please. I don’t mean to make excuses for my actions, I know I hurt you with them. But I was overwhelmed. Every mother dreams for the day her child comes to them in love. Waits eagerly for them to come to tell them all about the person who makes their heart beat faster and makes their life more exciting than it ever was before. I was finally having that moment... only... it was nothing like I imagined. I’m not proud of how I shut down when you tried to share that with me and again, I’m so sorry,” she said, taking a deep breath at the end of her speech. 

“But... why? Why did you?” Levi asked, trying to understand what she was saying. Just because he wasn’t what she dreamed he was... she didn’t embrace him? Did that mean that, deep down, she wasn’t happy for him?

“I really didn’t want to inundate you with excuses. That wasn’t the point of this breakfast, please believe that. But... as soon as I heard you were telling me about a “He” I panicked in a way that can only be described after I explain something. I was brought up in a different time than you. And... it’s no excuse but I was so scared about what this meant for you. So I shut down. I wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening so I could pretend you were safe again,” she tried to reason. Levi could see tears shining in her eyes as she spoke. 

“Mrs. Schmitt, what do you mean, what this meant for Levi?” Nico asked, feeling that there was more to what she was saying. 

“I know it’s not the same situation, that this is a different world... a different time. But, when I was growing up a had this friend, Jacob. We met in college, we were study buddies, and when he got married I was invited. He married a beautiful girl from my Hebrew club, I had helped set them up. They made such a lovely couple. They had a child their first year of marriage and it was like they were living the dream, the picture perfect family. But then... he disappeared. Janey, his wife, called me one day. He had gone missing, without a trace. He didn’t contact her, or their son, for years. And then one day... she got a note. It was from Jacob’s partner. He had run away from his wife, his son, his family... to go start a new one, with a man,” Beth said. Both Nico and Levi looked on while she told her story. Sure, it was an awful thing to do but it’s exactly what Levi wasn’t doing. He was being honest with the people in his life and was living life as a proud and out gay man. 

“The letter, it was because he had died. Back then, we didn’t know what we know now. He got sick, AIDS, and he died. And I know things have changed. And everything is more accepted. But... it’s still not the same or equal. You’re life will be difficult, more difficult, than if you were straight. People will hate you for who you love. They will say awful things. Your opportunities might be limited. When people find out they might treat you differently. Having children... everything will just be harder. And that scared me. And it made me so incredibly sad for you. Because you are a man now, out in a world where I can’t protect you from all the awful things it contains. I don’t want your life to be harder baby,” she cried, grabbing a napkin to dry her tears. 

“Mom, the world, society, it’s changing,” Levi said, leaning towards her to grasp one of her hands in his own. He hated seeing his mother’s tears knowing he inadvertently had caused them. 

“He’s right Mrs. Schmitt, I’ve been out for years and I hasn’t impeded my career or life. Sure there are people who don’t like it, but I don’t let them bother me,” Nico said, trying to support Levi’s statement. 

“Everyone at the hospital has been so great about it too. We have the full support of the staff, and we even filed paperwork with HR so we don’t have to sneak around,” Levi commented. 

“They have been?” Beth asked, surprise coming through her tone as she sniffles and dried her tears once more. 

“They’ve been really great,” Levi reiterated. 

“I’m so happy to hear that,” she replied. Unable to contain herself she rose to her feet. Levi joined her moments later and they embraced, holding each other tightly, both wetting the other’s shoulders with a fresh round of unexpected, but happy, tears. 

Nico, for his part, was so relieved to see them embrace. It had been so tense prior to that moment, the hug was like the dam breaking. 

Pulling back Beth held Levi’s face between her hands. “I don’t want you to ever think I don’t love you. I will always love you baby. I can’t apologize enough for making you doubt that fact. You are, and always will be, the most important thing in my life. Now, I guess I’ll have to share your love with someone else,” she eluded, looking over to Nico. “And a handsome one at that,” she stage whispered to Levi, causing him to turn beet red and Nico to laugh slightly. 

“Mom!” Levi exclaimed, feeling embarrassed that his mom called his boyfriend handsome. 

“Honestly Levi, I wasn’t sure what to expect when you said “he” but...” she paused to smile at Nico in a warm motherly way, “All that matter is he’s the one you run to when you need someone. As nice as it is that he’s easy on the eyes, I can tell how much you mean to him and that is something that supersedes looks everyday of the week.”

“Thank you Mrs. Schmitt,” Nico said, a slight blush coloring his face. “I really do care greatly for your son.”

“I could tell last night, or I guess I should say this morning. You maintained respect while being protective, I’m just sorry I gave you any reason to think you needed protection sweetie,” she focused the last part back on Levi. 

“I’ve been wondering mom,” Levi started, “Where did you go yesterday when you left? You never came home, at least not while I was still here.”

“A lot of places I guess. I started at the cemetery, talking to your father. He always was my voice of reason in our marriage and sometimes when I need to feel that I go and visit him, place a stone on his grave. Then I went back to temple to speak to the Rabbi. I felt like I needed to apologize for my actions today and to seek guidance for how to proceed. I also went out for ice cream because... well what isn’t made better with ice cream?” She joked. 

Nico laughed with her, but Levi’s face remained neutral as he asked, “What did Rabbi have to say?”

Levi may not always have time to devotedly practice his religion, and as a medical doctor he had to look at certain situations scientifically instead of spiritually, but he maintained his faith the best he could and he worried about possible judgement from the man who he seen him through his spiritual teachings. 

“He said you are loved in His eyes. That this is who you are and there is nothing wrong with who you were meant to be. He counseled me to an understanding and gave me the ability to be honest to you about my fears regarding what you told me. And he encouraged me to not let a day go by withholding how much I love you because all our days together are precious and not to be taken for granted,” she told him. 

Nico, recognizing how important that moment was for Levi, moved closer to lend his support. Levi smiled at him and reached back to hold his hand. 

“He helped me realize that you are loved and this is just another part of you for me to love,” she said, smiling. 

“Love you too mom,” Levi said, leaning in and kissing her on her cheek. 

“Now that we’ve had our serious breakfast discussion should I break out the baby photos or allow you to show Nico here your Cave of Wonders or Fortress of Solitude or whatever you’re calling it these days?” She said, watching both of their reactions carefully. The red blush of embarrassment colored Levi’s entire face and Nico’s eyes widened at the possible implication of her words. 

“Mom!” Levi eventually exclaimed, when he found his voice again. 

“You room, Sweetie, I’m talking about your room,” she laughed. 

“I knew that!” Levi chuckled, trying to push back his embarrassment. He grabbed Nico’s hand, the taller man now shaking silently with laughter, and began to pull him towards a door by the staircase. 

“Fortress of solitude?” Nico said, poking Levi in the ribs as he laughed. 

“Shut up, nerd remember! And besides, Superman was hot!” Levi said as they went. 

“Not as hot as you,” Nico replied, looking back to see if they were out of eyesight of the kitchen. Once he was sure he turned Levi towards him and swept him up in a gentle kiss. “You are so brave and I’m so proud of you,” he whispered, followed by another kiss. 

“Thank you for being here for me, I love you,” Levi responded, his body fully relaxing for the first time in over 24 hours. 

“Love you too babe, always. Now lead the way to your Fortress if Solitude,” Nico laughed against his lips and Levi smiled before pulling him through the doorway and shutting it behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed the story!!
> 
> Like I said in the beginning, everyone has their own unique story and regardless of where you came from, who you are, or who you love; embrace everyone. Life’s a lot better when we celebrate each other instead of putting each other down.


End file.
